User talk:Shadowhaze
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the User:Shadowhaze page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Violation of these rules will result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out the Article Listing or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Look at what our editors have written at the User Submissions page. Do not forget to add any story you create/upload to the Article Listing. If, after 30 minutes from adding a page, you neglect to put that page on the Article Listing, you will receive a 1 day block as stated in the rules. This is not the same as adding it to the User Submissions page. If you upload OC (Original Content; something that you wrote instead of found on the internet), be sure to tag it with the Category:OC category AND add it to the User Submissions page as per the rules. If you mark a page as OC and do not add it to the User Submissions page, you will be warned first then blocked from editing for a day the next time it happens. The OC tag will also be removed. The same thing goes for putting a page on the Submissions and not tagging it as OC. This does not count as adding it to the Article Listing, though. This is an extra step for OC. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! -- ClericofMadness (Talk) 21:43, April 18, 2012 Sloshedtrain 22:48, April 18, 2012 (UTC) This is SPW Deletion Protocol. From the look of this account, I don't think you'll benefit at all from what I'm about to tell you. However, I'm still going to try, because I think you can rework this into a decent story on the Spinpasta Wiki. The main problem with this story is that you keep inserting unnecessary backstory which makes it confusing. Let's go over where you're doing that. You start the story with "I was once a boy at home working on my homework," which is this weird blend of the habitual and momentane which implies that all the main character did was work on their homework. Honestly, if you were to delete that line, the next line would probably be fine, but in the second paragraph, you talk about how the main character moved to the city, so the entire first paragraph is unnecessary. Then, you talk about how a "slender man" worked at his office, and the boss told them not to go near him. There are two possibilities here. The first is that you've just written a story which happened to accidentally imply Slenderman was the villain. It doesn't make much sense given the title, but fine. Post it in Board:Writer's Workshop and you'll get some help. But the second, far worse, more likely option is that Slenderman is working near the main character. Okay, fine. Let's go on. This could be a decent idea. But no! Instead of expanding on this, you turn it into a regular Slenderman story in the fourth paragraph! Now, I will give you some credit. You mention your boss, but in such a way that it implies he said something you've never mentioned him saying. The problem is that you don't explain why Slenderman was working at your job in the first place. You go on with the story, getting into gory details. You describe the paramedics "popping in" like they're your neighbor, and that's not how paramedics work. How did they even know the guy was bleeding out? Did Slenderman call them? I mean, he just stands around looking menacing by the end. Is there some weird thing going on where that specific guy has to be in a hospital without intestines? If that were the case, that would be pretty cool. In fact, you could write that. There are so many possible plot threads. Why was Slenderman at this job? Was Slenderman just stalking this one person or was it a widespread problem? Maybe the paramedics and police being suspiciously timely is part of a larger plot, hmmm. Go wild! Now, you may think this would ruin the horror because you want it to be gory and unexplained. The problem is that so many people have written anonymous first-person gorefests that the entire concept has become stale. If you write this, people will say stuff like, "Haha this is trash." In fact, the entire reason I was alerted to this story was someone posting "Jaja esto es basura" in the comment section. Here's what I think you should do. Read through your stories and see if you've put in unnecessary information which never comes up again. Put them in Board:Writer's Workshop if your story gets deleted from Spinpasta again. If you work hard, I know you can write better than this garbled mess of plot points and sudden scripted entries and exits. Don't contact me here, though. Contact me on this page. Your Story This picture was here. I was once a boy at home working on my homework. I grew up on a farm in Georgia where the summer was hot and the winters were fierce and cold. I did a lot of farming, pulling cattle out of there fence and putting them into the barn, rounding up the chickens, feeding the horses. It was a beautiful place to be during the summer. I then moved to the city where I would work in tall buildings, usually in offices. It was a good place to work, good money, people were very friendly. Everything was great until I saw him. He was just standing there with a black suit and a white tie. I couldn't see his face that well and he never talked to any one. All he did was work and the boss never talked to him, he told me to stay away from him. I had no idea why he had said that but I just listened to him and got back to work. He was very tall and skinny almost slender. I never talked to him of course because he was sort of odd. So one night my car had broke down and I had to walk home. It was pitch black the moon was bright and the streets were very quiet. It was a warm night and the crickets were chirping and then suddenly I saw him just standing there randomly(Maybe delete this word?). I was a little creeped out and he came over to me. He was drenched in blood and he had no face whatsoever. It was dark so I could barely see but the police were patrolling that night and they just came over and he was gone. They asked me why I was out so late and I told them my car had broke down. I asked for a ride and they drove me to my house. I had told them about that man in the black suit with the white tie, and no face. They had told me there was no one alive with that description. I then told them that my boss had said it, they walked away like I was completely insane. I was so confused but I just ignored it. So I had walked inside my house and... there he was. He was just standing there, blood all over his body. I had ran out but he caught me. I only got out in time to write this whole story down, I am running out of time. So he had ripped my intestines out and he just put his fingers inside my body and twisted till I passed out. The paramedics came by and put me in the hospital and I run on full life support now. Every time I fall asleep in the hospital he wakes me up and when I see him; I see his suit covered in blood, faceless holding my intestines. I am scared for my life right now. I just need you to help me out of this I beg you. ---- "This is the end of the story," said Squidmanescape (talk) 01:04, September 11, 2018 (UTC).